Stress Less by Jamal Miller

It’s Men’s Health Awareness Month and I wanted to make sure to carve out some content specifically for the male audience I’ve grown over time. For the first time ever, I am bringing a special guest author to LizeeAngel. Jamal Miller runs Gays In The Life, is a fellow podcaster and now friend! I had the pleasure of posting on his blog on how to Keep It Keto Through Summer and now he’s here to bring the Men’s perspective to how to reduce stress and flourish in today’s environment! Please enjoy and follow Jamal @gaysinthelife on all socials! Special thank you to Jamal for lending his time and incredible words to LizeeAngel!

Here we are in June of 2020. Six months, already gone. Six months of work, personal life, relationships, a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and probably a decent amount of stress. As a young boy, I understood what society wanted me to take away from growing into a man: We don’t show our emotions. I wouldn’t begin to understand  how bottling up all that unresolved energy would impact how I functioned and my overall health throughout the years. 

I’m now a thirty-three year old man, living and working in Indianapolis. I maintain a full-time job, co-host a weekly podcast, and am also currently working towards obtaining my real estate license. How do I keep it all together, you ask? Well, if I’m being completely honest, most days it’s a crapshoot. Work can be very calm one minute, then explode in the next! Unexpected circumstances have a tricky way of popping up at the perfect time, only to throw us into an emotional downward spiral. With every added stressor our bodies end up attacking us, entering a phase of self-destruction that we do have the power to control. 

The World Health Organization performed a study that shows women experience stress and depression at higher rates than men, but over time, men are actually more vulnerable. Due to traditional stressors that are put on women socially – i.e. taking care of the home, raising the kids, typical societal norm nonsense – they’re better able to handle the effects of stress. Because men haven’t had to deal with the same level of social inequities as women – unless you’re part of the BIPOC community, that is  – we’re not as equipped to process stress when it does occur. 

I’m not going to lie, some of this research seemed a little shady to me when I started digging into this topic. The research shows that women tend to think about life scenarios way more than men, “overthinking” things, which causes higher levels of stress and depression. Since women are used to tackling stress and depression at higher rates than men, they tend to have better tools and recovery time in this department. On the other side of that token, men tend to ignore our problems, bottling up any threat that risks us looking like less of a man. 

There are so  many studies that show how stress and depression impacts our health as a whole. Outside of mental and emotional damage, stress can directly feed cancer, cause heart problems, birth new illnesses, and diminish our brain functions. I have ailments on both sides of my family that I’m looking to avoid, so for National Men’s Health Month, I wanted to share some ways we can better maintain our stress levels and achieve success. Like I mentioned earlier, most days managing stress is a crapshoot. With that being said, however, practice makes perfect. 

Here are some way I practice eliminating stress and how I set myself up for success:

TOOLS FOR FOCUS. 

I love the pre-set Google Sheets To-do list. Visit the hyperlink in the previous sentence and you’ll find the list at the top of the page; you can’t miss it.  Every morning I do my best to prioritize my work tasks in a way that I know I can complete them – and efficiently at that. Do your best to not overwhelm yourself. It’s really easy to put way too much on your to-do list and become overwhelmed when we aren’t marking tasks complete fast enough. Instead of looking at the list as a daunting, mountain of work, try making a game out of it. What can I complete and get done now? What can I complete maybe a little later after I knock out these items? 

Another tool I’ve been trying to be better about using is the Forest App. The way this app works is you set an amount of time you want to focus, and this plants a tree. The only way the tree grows, and you build a bigger forest, is if you don’t exit the app before the previously set amount of time. This app is super effective if you have trouble leaving your phone alone. I usually set my timer for thirty minutes to two hours, depending on what I’m working on, and take a five to fifteen minute break when my tree has fully grown and the time has run out. After your break, set the timer and start again.

BE A WELLNESS WARRIOR.

Men. It’s okay to take care of yourselves! It’s so important to feel good from the inside out. There are plenty of days when I’m deep in a task, and I feel the stress and anxiety rising closer and closer to the surface. I find that sneaking in a quick workout during the workday helps expel a lot of that negative energy. 

Pre-COVID, I would sacrifice my lunch hour for working out after I discovered how refreshed I was by the time I got back to my desk. My productivity is always pretty great after a good workout as well. I’ve been working remotely for fifteen weeks now, and have taken to walking around my neighborhood and doing push-ups, squats, or sit-ups during breaks. Being any kind of active for my health, not for vanity purposes, has helped improve my mental and emotional state of  being. Weight-loss is really just an added bonus here. 

Eat well and pamper yourself! Nothing makes me feel better than a good skincare regimen. The act of scrubbing off the day after work, or before bed, helps the feeling of relaxation and freshness wash over you. Eating clean will also help promote great inner-to-outer health. Whatever your daily routine or personal goals, consume nutrients in a way that benefits you as an individual and don’t try to fit into anyone’s box but your own. If you’re rested and feeling good on the inside, you’ll be better equipped to tackle any hurdles that may pop up during more stressful moments. Do your best to not let the stress build up and you should be in good shape. 

BEFORE I LET YOU GO

Take one day at a time and please don’t add any added pressure on yourself. A large number of us are working from home and our work and personal activities are beginning to blend together. Use some of the aforementioned tools and approaches to help keep personal and work activities separate. The key is recognizing what triggers your stressors and how you manage them. 

Give yourself something to look forward to. Some days, I have to think to myself “If I focus on work during work hours, I can take a break and deal with house chores later.” There will be days where you just can’t help the amount of work you have or a time-sensitive item monopolizes your entire day. Instead of becoming upset with yourself, see what can be moved around and remember to relax. My mind can go a million miles a minute and my ambition can get the best of me at times; especially in the remote space. By learning what arouses my stress and how to keep it at bay, I’m more successful in my professional and personal endeavors. 

Thank you, Nik, for allowing me a space on your fabulous platform to share this post with your readers. I hope these tips help some of you to begin to understand how stress impacts you, and aid you on your journey to a zen, productive, and enjoyable life. Feel free to stop by and say hi for more wellness and lifestyle tips, and thank you so much for your time today. 

TTFN,

Jamal 

Don’t forget to tag me in your photos online @lizeeangel or using #lizeeangel. And as always, comment below and please, like, share and follow me on youtube, instagram, twitter, facebook and pinterest!